so often i want to show others the dance
and pretend like i had the soul of a poet
or an artist
or a musician
that i was able to do anything but point with clumsy steps and stuttering mouth
to pretend that anything but this accounting soul lives in me
this soul of precision and terminology
this black and white soul that wouldn't know a dance from a seizure
this soul yelling out "synapse" right now at jeopardy on tv
part is my gifts
part is my heart
and which part is which
is what i often get confused about
which part is my personality?
and which part is my heart needing to be changed?
which part is my anemia and which part is my apathy?
i still don't know but i'm still looking
and i know that counts for something in His eyes.